in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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