You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
