Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My vagina is officially offended.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
