Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago