I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
