Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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  (586): Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up http://tfl.nu/mvat
  Replies (3) Good night (1860) Bad night (624)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.

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  (651): Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip. http://tfl.nu/wq4t
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (869)
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  (626): View more from California

  You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.

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  (626): You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I. http://tfl.nu/6sde
  Replies (9) Good night (6948) Bad night (840)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

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  (813): I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester. http://tfl.nu/cawp
  Replies (25) Good night (3155) Bad night (801)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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  (410): I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it. http://tfl.nu/si6n
  Replies (19) Good night (6475) Bad night (1109)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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  (937): you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters http://tfl.nu/ru5h
  Replies (9) Good night (3424) Bad night (940)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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  (954): I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure. http://tfl.nu/up4h
  Replies (11) Good night (2533) Bad night (1025)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (528)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.

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  (919): then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building. http://tfl.nu/wz5k
  Replies (6) Good night (1455) Bad night (510)
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  (274): View more from Wisconsin

  Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place

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  (274): Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place http://tfl.nu/ignd
  Replies (9) Good night (1729) Bad night (486)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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  (716): Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day. http://tfl.nu/hsum
  Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (544)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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  (775): A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian http://tfl.nu/crio
  Replies (2) Good night (1810) Bad night (422)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1281) Bad night (940)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1395) Bad night (365)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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  (970): I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh. http://tfl.nu/93er
  Replies (9) Good night (1733) Bad night (722)

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