I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.