dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.