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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You up for the gym tonight after work?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Chris Brown style, or less felonious?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haha, all felonious.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

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• (310): View more from California

  and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

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• (631): View more from New York

  what you doin?

  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

  (631): View more from New York

  reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night

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• (949): View more from California

  One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.

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• (143): View more from

  I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.

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