fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
