is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
