Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
