think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
