just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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