gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
