I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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