Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
