Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
