He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
