I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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