it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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