take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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