You're my little dorito
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
