I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
