She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
