What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
