Already got asked if we're dating
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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