God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
