what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
