I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
