Umm I'm too high to move.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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