I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
