**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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