I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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