part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
