Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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