mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
