Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
