Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
