He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
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Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.