May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize