Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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