she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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