i don't plan on having that self control this summer
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
