Dual....:-)
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
