Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
