guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize