He is an equal opportunity slut.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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