Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
