do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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