Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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