My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
