im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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