Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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