bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize