Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I look better un-naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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