i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
