So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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