Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
