So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You need a sexual gate keeper
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
