I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
