Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
