omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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