Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
